


Whoa, I'm A Mess Right Now

by RockingTheGraveyard



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Angst, Flashback, Hurt/Comfort, Mako's got a lot of trauma to sift through, Mako-centric, Nightmares, Post B4, Whump, all those sad things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-05-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:55:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24054775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RockingTheGraveyard/pseuds/RockingTheGraveyard
Summary: With his arm bound in a sling and sleep evading him, Mako's past couldn't have choose a worst time to rear it's ugly head.
Comments: 11
Kudos: 153
Collections: Mako (Avatar) Appreciation <3, Mako + Bolin Gen and Family Fic





	Whoa, I'm A Mess Right Now

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote most of this back in January and just sort of forgot about it. Until I was listening to 'Freaking Out' by A R I Z O N A and was basically like ... didn't I write a fic like this??  
> I've only ever worked on this, like, past midnight so the quality ... may be questionable but I think I'm as satisfied with it as I will be.

Mako ran through the street, dodging vendors, jumping over the stands that roll in his way. Beifong would kill him if she were to see him now. But he technically wasn’t on duty so technically wasn’t going against his orders. Mako was just doing his part as a citizen of the city. She can’t blame him for simply helping a poor old shop getting their earnings back, could she? Of course she could but that didn’t stop Mako from acting. 

Seeing his culprits duck into an alley, Mako made quick work to follow. Fire was what first met him. It took more effort than he’d have liked to thwart the flames with one hand but they were still quickly diminished. In place of the flame a man, slightly shorter than Mako himself, was in his face. Mako was quickly to duck and bat away the flame coated fist. He nearly stumbled as he moved away from another hit. The man was clearly playing to his advantage, aiming for Mako’s left side. Perhaps going into a fight with his arm trapped in a sling wasn’t the brightest idea. 

Mako gasped when ice suddenly coated his right hand, a water whip slinging him against the stone wall. His head snapping against the hard building was painful enough but it was the impact to his left arm that stole his breath and brought him right on his ass. He’d berate himself for not paying closer attention to the second assailant if his mind weren’t reeling. 

“Hurry up and let’s go!” The waterbender snapped, anxious to make their escape. The firebender had other ideas.

“No, not yet.” His voice low but tone borderline giddy. 

“Enough of your unhinged shit, I ain’t getting pinched ‘cause of you!”

“It’ll only take a moment. Kids like this need to be taught to mind their own.” Mako wanted to argue that he wasn’t a kid. To say, for better or for worse, that he was a cop and this was his job. But he couldn’t bring himself to say anything. The moment Mako looked up, he couldn’t even see anything but the man’s amber eyes. 

A freezing chill washed over his body as he locked onto those eyes and the world shrank around him. It was dark and he was cold and the figure before him was indistinguishable save for his eyes. They suddenly lit up as the figure drew fire to their hand. Their eyes almost glowed in the firelight. Mako knew he needed to move, needed to act now but his limbs were heavy and numb. His breath was shallow and his hearing rang. 

What happened had hit Mako like a brick. He couldn’t even tell what triggered it. Being down in an alleyway? The fire? The man? His eyes? Maybe it was all of it. None of it mattered anyways, it was happening and he couldn’t stop it. His body felt heavier and his breathing quickened. He couldn’t stop it, there was no stopping anything. He sat frozen, just like all those years ago.

Those glowing eyes were ripped from his sight so fast that Mako flinched. His whole body jerking back like his own mind had left him only to be violently tossed right back in. Mako tried to breathe. He knew what was happening, he could stop it. He just needs to focus. If he could just focus on something he’ll be in control again. Not for the first time, Mako had gripped the empty space around his neck. He just needs to find something and that something was brown. 

It took longer than he’d ever admit that he was staring right into someone’s eyes. A familiar dark, warm brown. He knew these eyes, the dark skin that surrounded them, and just the barest dust of freckles below them. Jun, her name was Jun and she was an officer. An older woman that Mako had worked with on several occasions. 

“Hey!” Mako blinked and the numbness in his limbs began to lift. “You with me hot shot?” Mako nodded. “You were lookin’ a little lost there, you okay?” She looked concerned and it bothered him she wasn’t smiling like usual. 

“Hit my head.” Mako muttered because he did, and the more things came into focus the more it throbbed. Closing his eyes, Mako took a deep breath and held it before forcing as much tension from his body as he could as he exhaled. “It’s just a bump, I’ll be fine.” Jun studied him a moment longer and Mako made sure to meet her eyes confidently. 

“Good” she relaxed and her usual grin split her face “‘cause Beifong is gonna eat you alive, kid.” 

“Not if you don’t tell her.” Mako groaned, his shoulders sinking in defeat. He already knew the answer. It was all but confirmed by her cackle.

“Tough luck, hot shot, she finds out I keep your idiocy to myself and she’d have my ass for covering for you.” Jun leaned forward grabbing his arm and began to urge him up. Her touch was too gentle. “Come on, someone had called a healer for the poor shopkeep. Might as well have them look at your head.”

He wanted to argue. Why bother when the Chief was gonna make sure he needs a healer when she’s done with him. Saves him from having to sit through it twice. Mako’s eyes drifted down the alley. The two assailants were on the ground, firebender wrapped up tight in metal cords. Jun’s partner coiled the waterbender’s feet to stop him from kicking their partner. Both were yelling every obscenity in the book. 

Embarrassment creeped over his face and his gut churned. These guys were nothing, hardly a threat. He was even able to hold off the firebender with one arm. Mako felt ashamed that these, run of the mill, thugs drew out the reaction that they did. He couldn’t help but feel a little pathetic and more than a little angry. But with another deep breath he forced himself to release it. It left him feeling tired. 

A snap in his face drew his attention back to Jun. The heat in his cheeks worsened realizing his mind drifted again. She didn’t wait for him to respond before she started walking, trusting him to follow her. She hadn’t mentioned the blush that he knew was obvious on his face. She was being too kind. It didn’t take long to walk back to the shop but the moment they arrived, Mako’s exhaustion grew. It figures that Lin Beifong must have just been in the area. 

When they approached she gave a quick nod to Jun before looking back to Mako. Her eyes narrowed before they darted back to Jun. “What’s he doing here?” Her tone, authoritative as always. 

“Case of right place, bad time, Chief.” Jun reported casually. “The detective here had distracted the thugs just long enough for officer Lin-Mao and I to catch them.” Despite what she said earlier, Jun was covering for him. It told Beifong just enough to satisfy her while being vague enough that he could get away with interfering at all. Jun was being too soft with him. Mako knows he should be grateful but irritation started to bubble up in his chest. 

“You!” The shout had caught them off guard. Behind Beifong the shopkeeper sprang forward towards Mako. “You’re the young man that chased off those hooligans!” Focused on the old man, Mako could only hear Beifong grunt but he could feel her eyes on him now. “I reckon’ I wouldn’t have gotten a damn thing back if you didn’t spring into action like that. With a gimp arm no less!” Mako’s jaw tightened, his irritation rising. 

The old man was digging Mako’s hole deeper and needed to shut up. But Mako smiled and nodded his head. It’s not like this man knew that, he couldn’t blame him. The old shopkeeper was just being grateful in his own way. Even if that way was borderline insulting his injury. “If it’s not little street rats rummaging around, then it’s triad wannabe thugs. If only this city had a few more good men like you.” The smile remained in place but Mako wasn’t listening anymore. The old man needed to learn when to shut up. 

“Excuse me, sir?” Jun suddenly between them. “The healer that was called, are they still around?” 

“Of course, just got done patchin’ up my leg. He’s still in the shop.”

“Why?” Beifong’s inquiries were always a demand you couldn’t refuse. 

“Seems our detective here go-”

“I’m fine.” Mako stated sharply. “I was just bumped into the wall, that’s all.” Jun’s concern was officially on his nerves now. He was exhausted. Mako just wanted to get through the loud scolding, that he knew Beifong was mentally drafting, so that he could go home. Sleep, he just wanted to lay down and get some sleep. 

“The healer will be the judge of that, detective.” Beifong’s tone even and her face stern but he didn’t miss the way her eyes scrutinized his face. “Let the healer take a look at you.” She turned back to Jun. “You go help Lin-Mao haul the arrestees back. Mako-” She turned away from him and began walking “-you’ll ride back with me.” 

Mako quietly huffed and watched as she caught the healer just as he exited the shop, pointing his direction. They both looked at him and she gestured him forward with a scolding look. “Sorry hot shot.” Jun patted his shoulder as he walked by. Mako almost shook off her hand before she removed it herself. 

Earth was brought up and Mako was seated in front of the healer the moment he stepped up to them. The healer didn’t even inquire about his injuries. His hands, coated in water, went straight to his head. Cold began to wash through his body again as the healer worked. He hoped the sharp intake of air went unnoticed as he tightened his fist. He dug his nails into his palm, helping chase away the cold. 

“You got a nasty scrap here, young man.” Mako was relieved at the man’s voice. “It’s healed up, no problem, but you’ll probably be sore for the next couple hours.” Mako caught sight of the water and watched as the man bent it right into the street’s gutter. He’d been mildly fascinated and surprised by the murky red color of it. “A long nights rest and you’ll be good as new. Is there anything else I need to look at?” Mako shook his head, the throbbing was still there.

“Thank you for all your assistance.” Beifong injected before the man could continue. “We’ll be on our way now.” Mako barely had time to stand up before the makeshift stool fell back to the earth. She turned on her heel and strode towards her Satomobile. If Mako didn’t know any better he’d believe she was hoping he’d fall on his ass. 

With a sigh, Mako nodded a silent farewell and thank you to the healer before following along. There were no looks when he got in. There were no words as she drove. But Mako was thankful for the silence as he let himself get lost in the sounds of the drive and the city. Too bad it wasn’t a far drive from the station. Mako mentally made a note to tell Asami she was right. Being on the road is relaxing, especially if someone else is driving. 

All too soon, Mako was out of the car, led through the station and standing in front of Chief Beifong’s desk. He stood quietly before her as she sat and shuffled papers on her desk. The silence stretched on as she continued with her menial task before she finally looked at him. Her gaze was hard, daring him to come up with an excuse. “Well? Get on with it.”

It didn’t take long for Mako to recount what happened. All in all it started quickly. He witnessed the shopkeeper go down before the men bolted, Mako right on their tail. And it ended quickly. Mako had paused only for a second but it was a second too long judging by the suspicious shift in Beifong’s eyes. She didn’t say anything. He told her that he was shoved to the wall and that was when Jun and Lin-Mao showed up. Beifong was quiet for a moment before she just nodded. When she addressed him again, it was borderline hostile. 

“Now tell me what the hell is wrong with you.” Mako furrowed his brow, confused and a little more than offended. “You nearly snapped at a civilian, the victim no less.” Mako opened his mouth to argue that he wasn’t but she cut him off. “And your attitude towards officer Jun was completely out of line.” Attitude? Mako met her glare. He hadn’t even said anything. He’d been respectfully quiet the entire time.

“Knock it off. I don’t care if you got your ass handed to you. You don’t get to have a bad attitude and make your pity party, angry glares at whoever you want just because you’re embarrassed!”

“I’m not!” Mako snapped. But he didn’t know what he was arguing against. Sure he was embarrassed by his slip up and sure he felt irritated but he wasn’t blaming anyone. He couldn’t even blame the idiots robbing a store in broad daylight. Mako most certainly wasn’t being so openly hostile to everyone else. Yet Mako found himself looking at the floor. He didn’t think he was. 

Mako’s shoulder dropped as he sighed. He hadn’t even realized how tense he was holding himself again. It was quiet for a good couple minutes before Beifong spoke up again. Mako didn’t meet her eyes this time. “Go over the fight again.” Her tone, much more even than before. “Every part of your account was detailed except for that. I want you to explain it to me in full this time.” Mako sighed, he just wanted to go home. 

“I don’t know.” He said after a while. “After I was thrown everything gets fuzzy.” He couldn’t even account for the details. He didn’t want to. Mako still wasn’t sure what set him off. The less he thought about it the better. 

“You lost consciousness?” In a way, he supposed. Mako was tempted to lie. But he conceded and shook his head. His lie would only result in Beifong in being angry he kept that from the healer. The silence dragged on once again as she waited for Mako to elaborate but he didn’t. It wasn’t like there was much to say. Much he was willing to say at least. 

Telling your boss that you freaked out because of something that happened fourteen years ago wasn’t on the table. Just thinking about it made him feel even worse about it happening. He had come to terms with the fact he’ll never be over it but he should be able to at least deal with it by now. It had been so long since something like this had reared its ugly head. Mako couldn’t understand why now. A sigh snapped him from his thoughts. 

“Go home, Mako.” Why did he feel like a child being sent to his room? “And obey orders for once or I’ll put you on leave whether you like it or not. Understood?”

“Understood, Chief.”

“Good.” Beifong’s face suddenly softened. “You’re still healing, Mako, make some effort to take care of yourself. That’s an order.” Mako paused, before he nodded and stepped out. He was glad no one glanced his way when he stepped out of the office and made his way out of the station. Glancing at the clock on his way out, he was relieved he wouldn’t have to wait long for the trolley. Mako didn’t think he could walk all the way home now. Not with how drained he felt. 

When the trolley came, the ride passed by quickly. He stood near the door with his hand on the railing as usual, and then he almost missed his stop. If it weren’t for the elder woman that shook his shoulder, who Mako saw regularly on his ride to and from work, he would have missed it. Luckily the walk from the stop to his apartment wasn’t too far. Even luckier was the fact that his, and Bolin’s, apartment was still standing. Many weren’t.

Into the rundown building and up the flight of stairs, Mako didn’t bother with the lights when he entered the apartment. As it was throughout most of the city, the electricity was still out. Locking the door behind him, Mako headed straight for the couch. A blanket and pillow waiting for him. He had been sleeping there frequently and on more than one occasion Bolin would cover him up and put the pillow under his head. Mako eventually stopped putting them back when he woke. 

Ever so slowly he removed his arm from the sling. There was still some bandage over the worst of the burns but he could at least see his fingers now. And the fresh, raw scars that branched out from the beneath the white wrapping. They were long, raised and dark. They did well to depict just how severe the damage had been. Mako has many scars, he learned not to be bothered by them a long time ago. 

The pain he felt on his arm was another matter entirely. It felt like needles pricking his skin over and over, his hand shook and the worst of his burns that were still healing itched. Part of Mako wished he took Kya up on her offer. She had told him and insisted to meet her for more healing sessions. Mako had been tempted but she was so tired and working so hard. He wasn’t the only one hurt and he would heal with time. Mako could handle it.

With a deep sigh, Mako settled down into the couch. With his eyes closed and ready for some rest, Mako saw those glowing amber eyes. Another deep, more angry sigh escaped him as he stared up at the ceiling. He focused on the water stain and the flecks of dirt. Mako looked at the small spider web nestled in the far corner of the room. He thought about how Bolin fought for it’s right to stay there. 

Mako knew he should try to meditate, light some candles and do some breathing exercises at the least. But the moment he laid down he knew he wasn’t getting back up. Mako felt the exhaustion down to his bones and any movement seemed impossible. Just like how any attempts at getting rest seemed impossible. If it wasn’t sharp tingling pain keeping him awake, it was ghosts that should have been long gone by now. 

Mako groaned and ran his hand down his face. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes again and focused on his breathing. In and hold. Out and hold. In. Out. He felt his body relax and he could picture the flames of the candles he didn’t light. A fire before him, small and controlled. Grow and shrink. In and out. 

The sudden sharp crackle of electricity had mako snapped his eyes opening again. His heart raced and breathing became erratic. Throwing his right arm over his eyes, Mako sighed in defeat. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” Mako jumped out of his skin and shot up, flame in hand. 

“Bo?” 

“Who else?” Mako extinguished the flame and laid back. His hand colliding firmly with his face. As if he didn’t embarrass himself enough today.

“What are you doing back so early, I thought you had dinner plans?” 

“What? It’s past dark.” Mako opened his eyes and actually looked. The afternoon sun that shined through the window was long gone. He sat up again. Had he actually fallen asleep? He certainly didn’t feel like he did. He didn’t feel rested in the slightest. 

“Hey did you fall back to sleep?” His attention snapped back to his brother. 

“No.”

“Can you light some candles, I can’t see anything.” Mako hummed as he struggled to lean over and grab one of the candles on the coffee table. Though he didn’t feel rested, Mako’s body certainly was stiff enough to have laid on the couch for hours. He couldn’t help but groan quietly and hold his breath at the stretch of his bruised back. With more effort than he’d ever admit too, Mako lit one of the candles before slowly laying back. 

“Gee thanks, the smallest, single candle has finally illuminated my path.” Bolin joked good naturedly. Either not noticing the effort Mako had to put into the action or mercifully ignoring it. Ignoring his brother and his shuffling movements, Mako watched the flame. Idly he noticed how Bolin used the lit candle to light several more, setting them down around them. With little focus they all grew and shrank to his breath. 

“That’s still really cool.” Bolin mused before patting Mako’s legs. Without looking he lifted his legs and allowed his brother to sit next to him. Bolin of course didn’t complain when Mako laid his legs back down across his brother’s lap. 

“Hey” Bolin snapped, finally gaining Mako’s attention. “Figured you didn’t eat so I brought home leftovers.” He sat up quickly as the food was placed in his lap. Mako couldn’t say when the last time he ate was. But judging by the sudden ache in his stomach, it’s been a while. 

Mako muttered his thanks and dug in. It was comprised entirely of vegetables, which meant wherever they went Opal had picked the place. But they were savory and heavily seasoned like Bolin likes. It was good, he’d have to remember to ask where they went later when he had to mind to actually remember. 

“Are you okay?” Mako looked up to face his little brother. The candlelight illuminated his brother’s concern dramatically. It somehow made his question seem heavier. 

“‘M fine. This is good, thanks Bo.” Mako turned his attention back on his food but he knew Bolin was still looking at him. He could feel his attention and concern lingering. 

“You sure? It’s just that…” Mako could feel Bolin shifting under his legs. “Well you were muttering in your sleep, were you having a nightmare?”

“I don’t know.” Mako didn’t even realize he had fallen asleep. His little brother huffed, clearly getting frustrated by his deflective responses. 

“How’s your arm?”

“It’s fine.”

“Fine just like everything else with you and your life?”

“Yep.”

“Mako!”

“Bolin.” He was being childish, he knew that and he supposes he should feel bad about it. Looking up and meeting Bolin’s eye, he did feel bad about it. 

“Can you just talk to me, please?” His little brother was doing his best and going beyond that. Bolin was doing everything he could to help Mako in every way he could since his injury. He didn’t deserve for Mako to be such an asshole. With a sigh, he deflated and leaned heavily against the couch. He didn’t want to talk about it.

“I thought about the night mom and dad died.” But he owed Bolin that much. 

“Why?” Bolin asked after a moment. A fair question, neither of them have thought about it in a long while. Let alone bring it up. Mako gave a sharp laugh as he recalled bitterly what happened in the alley. He couldn’t tell Lin exactly but he could at least tell Bolin. His little brother has been there. Bolin had been where he was more than his fair share of time.

“Is that why you’re so angry tonight?” Mako cocked his head confused. But then he really took note of himself, how he felt. He let out a breath and relaxed his face, letting the scowl slip away. Mako wanted to palm away the pressure between his eyes but he flitched suddenly at the moment of his left arm. He sighed irritated and the stabbing pain of it. 

Mako felt as Bolin scooted close, drawing up Mako’s legs. He was practically in Bolin’s lap when his little brother wrapped him in a one arm hug, thankfully being mindful of Mako’s injury. With a deep sigh, he rested his cheek against Bolin’s head. It was almost reminise of how things were when they were young. How close they had to huddle for warmth, for comfort.

“Do you need some ice?” Bolin asked, nestling his head into his shoulder. “I think there is still some in the ice box that the neighbor froze for us yesterday.” Mako just shook his head. Though his head would probably benefit from the coolness, his arm certainly would not. It was too sensitive when it got this bad. But more than that he didn’t want Bolin to move away quite yet. 

“Mako?”

“Hm?”

“You can always talk to me, you know that right?”

“I know, Bo.”

“Then talk to me.” Mako sighed and Bolin pulled away enough to look him in the eye. “You hardly eat. You haven’t been in your room for nearly a month, you’re not sleeping. All you do is work and when you’re home you’re just kind of … there.” Mako slowly scooted away from Bolin as he talked until his feet met the floor. His thumb was digging into the palm of his left hand.

“You’ve gotten like this before.” Mako tightened his grip on his hand trying to stop the shaking. “Right after mom and dad … you stopped talking. You didn’t even talk to me.” Bolin let out a shaky breath. “I don’t remember much but I remember how scared I was you’d never talk to me again.”

“I’m sor-”

“You were eight, Mako, we just lost our parents. I’m not blaming you or anything, you don’t have to be sorry. But-” Bolin sniffed “-please don’t stop talking to me again.” Mako squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath. “Please talk to me.” Mako’s eyes fell to his arm. 

In the quiet moment, following the lines of his scars. Mako could almost hear the crackling. He could almost smell the burning. Electricity had such a unique smell to it. It lingered, stayed in your nose to the point where it left a metallic taste on your tongue. Sometimes Mako could almost swear the smell was still emanating off of him. It’s funny, in a morbid sense, that burning hair was the same way. Mako wondered how many times he had the same thoughts as a child all those years ago. 

“I’m just…” Mako took another deep breath, looking up and away from Bolin. “I’m just tired” he breathed out more shakily than he wanted. Bolin scooted closer and gently grabbed his hand, pulling it away from his injury. Mako let Bolin hold his hand as he continued to stare down and his injured arm. 

“I’m tired that this stupid hand won’t stop shaking.” He suddenly said, more angry than he had meant. “I’m tired how even when it doesn’t hurt the stupid thing tingles so bad like something crawling under my skin.” He pulled his hand away and ran it roughly through his hair.

“I’m absolutely sick that one stupid memory freezes me like I’m eight all over again.” Mako snaps because he can’t stop now. “I hate how I can hardly remember a damn thing but sometimes I can still picture his eyes.” Mako curled over his arm and brought his hand up to his face. His whole body was shaking now. 

“I’m so tired that every time I close my eyes, every time I lay down I can hear the way the lightning sounded, how it bounced around the room. How the stupid metal walls reflected the glow of everything. I wake up expecting to still be there sometimes and” he gave a breathy, strained laugh “-it’s so fucking stupid because I should be better at this.”

“I’m just - I’m just so tired, Bo.” Mako’s voice cracked and he hated how his vision blurred completely. How he couldn’t blink it all away. Bolin rubbed his back and rested his cheek against Mako’s shoulder and he couldn’t stop the quiet sob. Too much had been building up and he couldn’t hold onto it anymore. 

The throbbing in his head worsened and his chest felt hollow. He hated this, hated he couldn’t stop. He hated how he leaned into his brother’s embrace. His little brother who should have to be burdened by his breakdown. He hated how Bolin was crying right along with him. Mako hated how long it took him to stop. For the time he couldn’t keep track of, the silence of dim room was only broken by his breathy quiet cries. 

“Fuck” Mako took a deep breath. His head and arm throbbing more than it had several minutes ago. “Fuck” he repeated, like he does everytime this happens. Everytime he cracks. Mako breathed deeply, in and out, trying to compose himself before he rubbed his eyes roughly. “Bo-”

“Don’t” Bolin rubbed his face into Mako’s shoulder, drying his eyes on the uniform he was still in. “Mako, you’re my brother.”

“Little brother.”

“Exactly, I’m your little brother but I’m not a little kid anymore. You don’t have to coddle me, you don’t have to hide everything from me.” Bolin pulled Mako up so he could look at his face. “I know I can talk to you. Why can’t you realize you can talk to me?” Bolin sniffed and frustratedly wiped away his stray tear. For a moment he just stared at his little brother. No longer the gaunt, skinny child whose wild smile was the only thing he had. 

Mako leaned back further and opened his arm. “Come here, little brother.” Bolin didn’t hesitate to lean his head on Mako’s shoulder. Mako curled his arm around Bolin’s head and brushed his fingers through Bolin’s thick hair. Even back then, no matter what they went through, Bolin was always there for him. Mako felt guilty that he never really thanks Bolin for that. 

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Bo.” Mako tightened his grip around Bolin. “I’m sorry.” He said because he meant it. “I’ll try, Bolin. I promise, I’ll try.” He said because Bolin deserved it. Bolin gave a shaky sigh and nodded his head before he extracted himself from Mako and moved away. Mako watched as Bolin got up and began to move the coffee table. Slowly and carefully as to not knock off the lit candles as he moved it to the side. 

He watched curiously as Bolin disappeared into Mako’s room. There were sounds of him rummaging about before he came back, Mako’s mattress in tow. 

“Bolin what are yo-” he didn’t even have time to finish his question before Bolin dropped the mattress in the middle of the room, turned around, and entered his own room. “What are you doing?” He asked when Bolin came out with his own mattress. 

“What does it look like?” He dropped the mattress and went back to his room. “I’m getting ready for bed.” A moment later he comes back dropping a pile of blankets and pillows. Only to repeat the process again in Mako’s room. He could only watch bewildered at his brother’s sudden determination for them both to sleep in the main room of their apartment. 

Pabu cherped in his lap. Mako scratched behind his ears, feeling bad this was the first time he even noticed the tiny little member of their family. It’s a good thing that Opal almost insisted Pabu be a part of their dates. The little guy probably would have missed lunch and dinner otherwise. The two of them just sat and watched as Bolin got everything set up. His little brother even fetched two glasses of water before plopping down. Mako could almost laugh when Bolin almost spilled the water over his hard work. 

“Why?” He had finally asked.

“Because my nightmares were never as bad when you’re there with me.” Bolin pulled the blanket and pillow from the couch. “Even if I can’t stop them, at least you won’t have them alone.” Mako was sure if he wasn’t all cried out, and probably a little dehydrated, he’d start up again. 

“If there is one thing I probably don’t need to tell you, Bolin.” He took off his belt and began to pull off his jacket. Like all the days before, taking much more effort than he’d like to pull it off his left arm. “I’ve got a pretty good little brother.”

“Please, I’m the best, most loving and kind and amazing little brother in this city. If not the world.”

“And the most humble.” Mako rolled his eyes, slowly lowering himself onto his bed.

“Yeah. I am incredibly humble, aren’t I?” Bolin buried himself in his blankets, just his face barely peeking out. “It’s because I was raised by someone who was really, really, really great and cool and amazing too.” Mako breathed out amused if not overly touched as he shook his head. 

“Goodnight Bolin.” 

“Night, Mako.”

“...Bolin?”

“Yeah?” Mako made the effort to lean over, resting his forehead against Bolin’s.

“Thanks.”

“Always.”

And with a flick of Mako’s good hand, the candles went out. Mako made himself as comfortable as he could. With his arm it was never in one play for long. He laid awake long after Bolin had fallen asleep but he was thankful. When Mako did eventually drift, it was to the sounds of his brother’s breathing that drowned out the crackling in his head.

**Author's Note:**

> Severe electric shock can mess with ones psyche (he also almost lost his arm which is enough to fuck anyone up). And as far as I am concerned Mako's never been to therapy or really talked about his traumas and shit has a habit of catching up with you. Usually when it's most inconvenient. 
> 
> Also painsomnia is a bitch and lack of sleep is your mental illness's best friend. 
> 
> Also, also. It's bullshit that Mako never cried. All the other members of Gaang and Krew got some good tears in. Where was Mako weepy time?? Let my emotionally repressed nerd let it out.
> 
> ANYWHO. Hope someone out there liked this at least. If you did, reviews are always nice!!


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